State of Our Nation – Chalti hai kya?

“Tan tana tan, tan tan tara. Chalti hai kya nau se barah?”

Examples abound, the above quoted songs and their apparent use on the lean mean streets of a super-metro like Delhi or Mumbai is as common as a traffic jam in any of these cities. Being subjected to a daily dose of eve-teasing, molestation, stalking, receiving lecherous comments / gestures, etc. are one of the most common features in day of a contemporary woman and the city she chooses to reside in. While the woman cringes even at the thought of all this, the stone-hearted cities in which they live continue to turn a deaf ear to their pleas and cries. Who is to be blamed? As usual, all fingers point to the one omnipresent, omnipotent, all powerful being. No no. Not God almighty. It’s the modern day God. The God made up of deplorable but manifest notions of power, money, greed and lust. The SYSTEM. But is the system alone to be blamed for the mess? Although I agree to this accusation in principle but I happen to have a rather different perspective about the said issue.

To begin with, let us first make an attempt to try and decipher the two fundamental causes of this problem. MEN and WOMEN. Parting with the chivalry, let us first try and understand the “simpler” gender, MEN. Men will be men, so goes the notable adage. But what is with Indian men that makes them so vulgarly attracted with anything and everything that has to do with sexuality; more particularly the other gender. I couldn’t agree more with one Ms. Dhupia, who was famously quoted for saying that only sex and one Mr. Khan sell in this country of ours. Our country, known for its cultural heritage and diverse historical flora & fauna, is also the birth cradle to the ancient “arts” of eroticism and sexuality. Our fixation with the same is almost justified, ain’t it? Well, almost. How dare Late St. Valentine and Archangel Cupid run amok in a country “virtually run” by our very own and respectable religious fanatics and ecclesiastical extremists? India has developed a self-imposed code of moral and social conduct off-late. We take pride and rather specialize in vandalizing screenings of ‘objectionable’ movies / paintings, creating ruckus on V-Day, running uncountable ‘Operation Laila-Majnu(s)’, deploring any ‘DK Bose’ and reducing any PDA (not a Personal Digital Assistant; I meant Public Display of Affection) to smithereens. Our Senas, Mutaliks, Sanghs, Deobands, etc. have proven to display extreme skill and admirable expertise in demolishing any public waiver from their set of idealistic and cultural behaviour. We might drool over the the “Sheila(s)” and “Munni(s)” privately in our bedrooms, watch MTV Grind Late Night edition, see vile Sisters / Mothers-in-law stoop to unimaginable levels in daily soaps, enjoy mobs lynching petty thieves / pickpockets, gyrate on remixed versions of bhajans on the tunes of ‘obscene’ Bollywood items numbers in late night Jaagran(s), but any ‘deviation / drift’ from our “Indian’ culture would not be tolerated.

This reminds me of a recent incident. I was at home one evening and was watching TV with my parents. A Hollywood flick was playing on HBO and the lead actors were busy cuddling up to each other, in bare minimal clothes. While my mom got a little uncomfortable and left for the kitchen, my dad & me continued to watch. Although the physical intimacy between the couple was on showcase for just over a minute, I changed the channel. I started watching a reality-based stand up comedy show on Sony. They were introducing the contestants and my parents began watching rather attentively as they liked the show. A certain Ms. Raina (a Kashmiri Pandit, we guessed) was also introduced. Ms. Raina wore a flaming hot red-coloured dress as she came on the stage. As soon as her name was announced, my dad went like, “Chi! Chi! Chi! Look at what she is wearing despite being a Kashmiri. I wonder what her parents must be feeling like. They would be so ashamed of her.” I was shell-shocked. I wondered if my dad was the same person who was watching the Hollywood couple making love, wearing just bare necessities. And now he had problems with this Kashmiri (read Indian) girl wearing a knee length dress. Wow! My parents had to be the most hippocratic people in the whole world. But I am wrong. Its not them. The whole freaking Indian social scene is like that. Everyone in India is so obsessed with their religion, its ‘values’, ‘culture’, ‘morals’ and ‘codes’ that they do not even tolerate elemental dynamism that goes naturally with any set of social values or ethics. Girls should sit at home and boys shall earn the bread. That has been the forlorn Indian mentality since times immemorial. Although the Indian social arena is opening up to the idea of girls working but the same is chiefly due to need to reach economic stability at family level rather than emancipation of our social ideas. If we had our way, we would still have our sisters and daughters sit at home and draw a pallu at the mere sight of an unknown person.

Anyways, coming back to the original topic, I was trying to decipher the hidden connection between Indian men and their lecherous outlook towards the fairer gender. Let us begin with a confession. I am a self confessed admirer of the other half of God’s human creativity and simply adore the beauty Almighty bestowed in them. I am a Cancerian and have a rather natural inclination towards women. Be it my mother, my cousin sisters, my girl friends (read, my friends who happen to be girls), my ex-paramours (Yes! There were more than one), etc. I have always been more of a ladies man. I am a man and am surrounded by women. But does that mean that I have a birthright to disrespect, demean, deplore or dishonour women in and around my social circle? Most vehemently not! If a girl walks on the road, she is checked out (read scanned) by at least a thousand eyes, every single minute. I confess that even I check out girls. But I have seen the look on people’s faces and in their eyes. Their eyes are ready to rip apart and ravage the girl at a moment’s notice. And God forbid, if the lady in question is dressed in a provocative or even in a slightly ‘modern’ outfit. Men love to devour her with their eyes and minds. We don’t even need to touch her to outrage her modesty. I am disgusted when I come across men / boys teasing women / girls on the roads, passing lewd comments and sniggering suggestively. I am abhorred by the fact that a father / uncle in our so-called moralistic society have the guts to rape his minor daughter / niece. I am shocked to read news concerning women being subjected to the same treatment as Phoolan Devi received at the hands of her villains. I am rather dumbfounded when I am told that a women can be ‘picked’ and raped in a moving vehicle in a city that boasts of a day-time population of over a crore and has a Police force established directly under the Union Government. I am disgusted that a Chief Minister, being a woman herself, has the audacity to blame a rape victim for “inviting it” by travelling late night in a cab, dressed in a ‘modern’ outfit. And we are still vying for a permanent seat in the UN Security Council, when we can’t even ensure a permanent security mechanism to our women citizens!! Villages in India are fast being brought under e-governance systems but no heed is being paid to social governance. In a scenario like I have discussed above, what is the use of cracking down on illicit activities like prostitution and soliciting it? I would rather say that the same should be legalized and licensed, so as to curb the ill-effects of menacing mentalities of Indian male mindsets while emancipating the general work & health facilities amongst sex workers as well. There are several other reforms that can be implemented but what needs to change radically is the mindsets and the inherent depravities that have come to settle in the minds of Indian men since time immemorial.

Let us now also turn our heads to the fairer sex (not that we don’t pay them any attention as such). Let me not be taken as a feminist. I am all for equality of sexes but strongly opposed to any kind of reservation for either. In the contemporary India, women have admirably risen to scale previously unimaginable heights. They have breached open the sanctum sanctorum of the most impregnable occupations and professions. They have turned the tables at the men and are now ready to take on the world at their own might and wit, shedding all inhibitions and reservations. However, in this process, most women have also shed their integrity and ethical / moral ideologies that are elementally associated with womanhood. Women today are more than willing to mortgage their modesty and values for a higher pay-scale or a better professional opportunity. Casting couches in art industries thrive not only because of loose-moraled men but also equally characterless women. I do not condemn the use of one’s beauty or skills to climb the professional ladder but the threshold of moral / cultural turpitude should be borne in mind while making a wild dash for success. Further, although I am a whole-hearted supporter of contemporary attires (for the simple reason, that women look way hotter in them), I vehemently suggest the use of the same after the exercise of due care and caution in regard to the place, occasion, company, time, means of commutation, etc. Wearing a hot mini would definitely grab a lot of eyeballs for you, Miss Hot Legs. But the same mini would land you in enough soup that the men around you would love to grab much more than your eyeballs. Be it Dhaula Kuan, Mumbai, U.P., Goa, Bihar or Jhumri Taliya, India is not a safe place for women. After all, Indian women should remember what kind of a lecherous male population they cohabitate with. The above may be true for city women but the same cannot possibly be suggested for the village folk. Those unfortunate women have to fend for themselves as the ‘wolves’ surrounding them are much more ravenous and voracious. Effective policing and law reforms have so far not turned a pebble in the rather pitiable conditions these women survive in.  

Though the Pink Chaddi campaign and Slut Walks are the only means to vent one’s anger in the scenario like the one existing in our country, one should remember that safety, like charity, begins at home. Reliance on governments, police forces and administrative agencies are a sure shot road to doom. Empowering and educational programs alongwith safety / defence training do not bring out the superwomen in you but are surely a big sigh of relief in otherwise grim scenario. But most importantly, what is with Indian men that led me into writing all this crap about them? Why are we such sex maniacs that we would rather ravage a woman than pay for easily available sex? Why do we devour girls with our eyes instead of being satisfied with our respective wives and girlfriends? Why are we so enticed with seeking illicit carnal pleasures that we voluntarily choose to ignore all limits of decency, morality and humanity? Does being born in the land of Kamasutra mean that we attain the right to act in the most perverse and perverted manner? Would a woman ever be able to feel safe and walk the streets of any town / city in Indian at 3 in the night without having a lurking fear of being brutally outraged and physically tarnished? Would India ever be a safe haven for our womenfolk? The answer to all these questions is in the negative, so far as the present scene is concerned. And if this is going to ever change, is a moot point. Till then, this is the State of Our Nation. Signing off... For now...